Aloha, friends and family! Yep, you know how this is going to begin, so let’s get going! Did you get Mike Pence’s galling amnesia? Yep, he made no apologies during the tense debate! Also, what did you think about Pence’s fantasy running mate. His Donald Trump bore little resemblance to reality! Think about it. Are you laughing yet? OK, just one more. Trump has a new nickname: Flip Flop Trump. He has changed his political party five (yes, that is five) times between 1999 and 2012! Google it! … LOL. And remember, everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege!
Aloha, friends and family! Yep, you know how this is going to begin, so let’s get going! Did you get Mike Pence’s galling amnesia? Yep, he made no apologies during the tense debate! Also, what did you think about Pence’s fantasy running mate. His Donald Trump bore little resemblance to reality! Think about it. Are you laughing yet? OK, just one more. Trump has a new nickname: Flip Flop Trump. He has changed his political party five (yes, that is five) times between 1999 and 2012! Google it! … LOL. And remember, everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege!
I don’t like making plans for the day. Why? Because the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom! Also, I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row. Yikes! So, I decided to change calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim.” I feel so much better now saying “I went to the Jim this morning!”
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied emphatically! “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you!”
A high school student comes home from school seeming rather depressed. “What’s the matter son?” asks his mother. “Aw, gee,” says the boy, “it’s my marks. They’re all wet!” “What do you men, all wet?” asks the mother. “I mean,” he replies, “well below C level!”
“Hello, police department? I’ve lost my cat and…” “I’m sorry lady, but this is not a police job, you can try calling…” “But you don’t understand, this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human. He can practically talk!” “Well, in that case ma’am, you’d better hang up. He may be trying to call you right now!”
While visiting a very high-class university (yes, starts with an “S”) in the Bay Area, a lady tourist noticed students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. “What are they doing?” she asked the tour guide. “Each year,” he replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.” When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide, “So, what’s the answer?” The guide replied with a bigger grin…”One!” … Couple more?
A cowboy from Waimea goes into his local wireless store looking for a solution to a problem. He says to the customer service rep, “I have a horse that I can’t seem to get going when I mount her. Nellie won’t listen to my commands, and when she does start moving, it’s just a slow, lazy trot!” The rep replies, “I have just what you need for your phone.” “And what would that be?” the surprised cowboy says. “The latest version of the “Giddy-App!”
And to close with some information to improve your health … yep more LOLs: If you want to do a week’s worth of cardio, just walk into a spider web! … I don’t want you to brag, but never finish your 14-day diet food in less than four hours! … and the grand finale … A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it!
So, my friends, I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day! Aloha … hui hou.